A-[PEOPLE
plug:

when bae mad at u

plug:

when bae mad at u

Today I went to Subway.

There were these 12 year old boys hanging around. As I got my food and left they were all checking me out like little prepubescent lemurs and one of them said “Can I get your number?” And I turned around and said “Why, you need a babysitter?”

image

paulyshorestoiletwater:

boysareevil:

i am kirsten 

He looks so concerned for her

a-storm-for-every-spring:

In honor of hitting 69 followers I will be giving away this small shopping cart I found in the trash at work (I’m a janitor so this isn’t as strange as it sounds, I find all sorts of crap). You do not have to be following me, and I will ship anywhere in the world on my own money. If you would like to win said small shopping cart reblog this post by June 30th! Winner will be chosen at random.

lucifers-timelords:

one time in math class my teacher was really pissed at us and he was yelling “DO YOU EVEN KNOW BASIC MATH? DO YOU KNOW ADDITION? WHAT’S TWO PLUS TWO? COREY, WHAT’S TWO PLUS TWO?” and poor corey wasn’t paying attention so i leaned over to him and whispered “seven” and he blurted out “SEVEN” and i have never laughed harder and i doubt i ever will

goldcollars:

lydiamaris:

Disney princess in haute couture

this is evvverythinnggg

meanieweeny:

meanieweeny:

last week I applied to a tea store called teavana and on the application it asked why I left my old job at a pizza place and I said “I guess working in fast food just wasn’t my cup of tea” and it’s been a week and I’m still laughing at myself

update: I got the job

hiddenlex:

bestnatesmithever:

karenfelloutofbedagain:

theunknown-abyss:

Louis CK on our culture on dating

I HAVE SO MUCH RESPECT FOR THIS MAN.

'Ugh, I hope this one's nice'

I may or may not have referenced this joke when making a point today. 

obi-wankenblowme:

These two guys are roommates and I fucking love hearing about the shit they do to each other